Trump Shills Himself on Live TV… What a Surprise.

So it’s about 7:30pm. TV switches on. The president’s talking about fake news again. AWESOME! I don’t normally watch television, but as an (in)active participant of the fake news community, I felt a conviction to watch it.

Within about 10 seconds I was laughing almost hysterically. He gets up on stage and addresses the fake news community by flaunting his wealth in front of them and calling them poor. WHAT A GUY!

Trump takes to the classic high school-lunch table technique of reminding all of his opposing agents that he had “a better education, a nicer house, nicer cars, nicer everything…” Of course this drove the crowd wild.

For some reason there seemed to be a lot more controversy over the fact that he said the word bullshit, which I find a little confusing. Who cares if someone gets up and swears on national television? It’s not like kids get up in the morning and watch the news. What bothers me is the childish and materialistic approach he takes to in response to the media. Entertaining indeed but probably more cut out for reality television than United States President.

What’s next, bragging to all the leaders of third world countries about our technological and societal development? I hope he knows that people who don’t value materialism can’t be the list bit daunted by his boasts. Speaking of which isn’t this supposed to be the land where there’s never a boast or a brag?

This is absolutely incredible.

I can spend 5 minutes listening to punk music and hear more political discourse than in 2 hours of hearing our president speak, what a time to be alive.

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On Beliefs, Respect, and Emperor Trump!

Who the fuck would waste half their time caring if other people respect them or not. It’s not like you’ll ever earn the respect of the entire world. Why bother earning anyone’s respect?
I went through all of high school going out of my way to give myself a bad reputation. Why? Because to me it was fucking hilarious. I openly talked about my drug use (in front of students and teachers alike), went out of my way to be as offensive as I possibly could without displaying any prejudice,  rarely every listened to instructions and argued with literally everyone about anything, even if I was arguing against something I believed in.

In hindsight I was probably more likely to argue against things I believe in. Why? Because I don’t wanna believe in shit. The only reason I believe anything for that matter is because I can’t find enough counterpoints not too.

What use is believing anyway. If you think belief is anything more than a barrier between you and understanding you should probably reevaluate some shit.

For example I used to believe that to be president you were required to be a good person. Until I realized 90% of all world leaders who have ever existed anywhere were war happy subjugating scumbags.

Im all for a good bar fight or a heated argument but why do we have to send millions of people to get killed every year over foreign Oil, is the military one big citizen recycling program or something?

Is it to push the christian agenda so we don’t have to worry about those pesky Muslims or Hindu’s revealing that the religion our country was founded over has more internal contradictions than a Trump speech? Or is it Another excuse for society to alter itself into an example to prove social Darwinism correct so that we can use ourselves as a biased case for the ideologies our scientists like?

Which leads me to another point, why  do people put so much faith in science. It literally invalidates almost everything it discovers every few decades. Do people really hate math and physics that much? I honestly belief the preference for scientific discovery comes from the fact that people think they can just trust any publication put out without understanding the work that went behind it. See there I go believing shit again, this is why people need to understand things or else they say dumb shit like I just did.

As if someone isn’t capable of publishing fake case reports to sponsor or weaken the integrity of specific products and ideas. It’s almost as if this happens on a regular basis through lobbyists.

While this is being read, our president is most likely standing out on his balcony grabbing some white house staff lady by the pussy, whilst smoking crack out of a rolled up constitution, while saying a prayer to his patron hero the Ghost of Richard Nixon.

“Just tell them your not a racist while giving air quotes” Nixon’s words echo in his ear.

“I know you weren’t a crook!” Trump declares valiantly giving his salute before proceeding to adjust his nut sack held tightly by an american flag speedo.  Just picture it for a second? Breath taking isn’t it. Now that’s what I call a Kodak Moment if I’ve ever seen one.

“Another Day another third world country to subjugate!” Trump enthusiastically exclaims as he throws the house maid over the balcony to cover up the evidence.
“No accusations coming this time!” He blurts with a good chuckle, after words he gives a prayer to his lord and savior Boss Tweed before riding off into the sunset on the back of a horse drawn carriage being pulled by illegal immigrants flying a banner with the words “FREE WALLS FOR ALL” painted on it in red white and blue sharpie.

I hope you all enjoyed this treatise to the greatest tyrant of the greatest country ever founded. I propose we start a petition to get Emperor trump’s face added to mount Rushmore.  I’m so grateful to be born in such a time of great ideological prosperity!

VIVA LA FAKE DEMOCRACY FOR ALL !!!